Sunday, August 28, 2005

Patches

Our munkarp futon mattress, $145 from ikea, developed a hole after only a few months of use. The futon frame has poorly designed cast-iron legs that poked right through it. We tried nylon tape, and of course duct tape, but neither stopped the hole from growing to a gash.

We’re always finding foam chunks from the mattress around the apartment, making it seem like the whole stupid sofa/bed/futon was kaput after less than a year. I know ikea furniture is disposable, but come on, this is nuts.

As I proposed actually sewing a patch over the cut (which would have been a sitcom-worthy disaster) Mrlittlepants had the bright idea of using an iron-on patch. Of course! And K-mart would have that, if they have anything.

K-mart employees don’t think the store stocks iron-on patches — in fact they’re amused by the idea of it. Well they do have them, among other sewing merchandise oddly placed at check-out aisle 12 (go get ’em!). If it holds, feel free to call me Patches. (If it doesn’t hold, you’d best shut your mouth.)