Friday, July 08, 2005

Where to get wine

If you like drinking wine regularly (or a little too regularly), Warehouse Wines & Spirits has the best prices in the city, and possibly the whole eastern seaboard. (It’s not France, but it’s as close you’re going to get.) They excel in other areas as well: being complete jerks. Mrlittlepants and I do our best to laugh it off, but the truth is that both of us hate to walk in the store. The salesmen inside are pushy, large, old white men (you know the type) and they always try to upsell. — Customer: Is this a dry wine? — You don’t want that one. Try this one. — Is it dry? — It’s a better quality wine. — Uhh… thanks. They may not know anything about wine, but they’re pros at engaging customers who don’t want to be bothered and directing them towards the more expensive wines, eager to condescend if you don’t follow their recommendations. Our advice: wear headphones and ignore them completely. Eventually they will walk away, befuddled. You may think you’re home free once you’ve got a bottle in hand, but don't underestimate the rudeness potential of the crazed check-out staff. At this point you should remove your headphones, do as you’re told, and scowl at them so you don’t feel like a complete flunkey. It will be over soon, then you can go home and pop out that cork. (Or better yet, unscrew that top!)